'99 Devo vs '08 Devo: The Sabathia Signing

As I enter the twilight of my life (late 20's) I am starting to realize that I am less principled about various things in my life. I could go on and on about how I don't want to firebomb the WTO anymore or how I'm starting to realize that "President Nader" may never actually become part of the American lexicon. But more importantly, I've noticed the difference in how I approach the Yankees. Let me explain:

'99 Devo:
Sure, we've just won ourselves a World Series, but the taint of all future World Series Championships will be clear for all to see if career mercenary/Red Sock Roger Clemens joins this team. David Wells was a true Yankee, embracing New York and its baseball franchise for all that it is worth. And Brian Cashman has thrown all that out the window in an effort to buy a championship. Well, the sad truth is that Cashman has taken all the fun out of rooting for the Yankees. Oh sure, I'll root for them, but I won't be happy about it! Brian Cashman, like the man with the windowless van who in fact HAD no candy, has robbed me of my innocence.

'08 Devo:
Win the world series. Fuck Boston. As my mentor, Mr. Rumsfeld would say, FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. Spend $160 million on Sabathia. Hell, spend $300 million and also bring in Manny, Lowe, Sheets, Texiera, and the entire Dominican Republic if that's what it takes. It's not like my broke, unemployed ass will be going to games and supporting their salaries. That's White Boy's job. Point being, WIN A GODDAMN WORLD SERIES AND SHUT THOSE MASSHOLES UP. ANY MEANS NECESSARY. I'll admit I'm slightly less idealistic now. But you know what else I am? Hungry for a goddamn world series. Sabathia may be the answer, he may become a joke of Giambi-esque proportions. I don't know, I don't care. Like I said, I'm not paying his salary. But there's only one thing left to do.

Take it away, Jake Taylor...(fast forward to :23 mark)