SHMUCKS PICKS (10-14-2)

ATLANTA FALCONS (-3) vs. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS

NFC East arguably is considered the toughest division in football. But the South is not too far behind. They are the only other division (in the NFC) that doesn’t have a team with a losing record (Bucs 9-3, Pant 9-3, Atl. 8-4, and New Orl. 6-6). After the whole Vick debacle, Falcons were considered to be in a rebuilding season and would finish in the ladder of the division. They clearly are the biggest surprise in the NFL led behind ROTY candidate QB Matt Ryan. They just keep finding ways to win. Currently they sit 1 game behind the Bucs and Panthers and are tied for the last wild card playoff spot with the Cowboys.
Saints have been probably the most inconsistent team in the NFL this season. They were my prediction to represent the NFC this year in the Superbowl and they haven’t played like that at all. Drew Brees is having a career year and the offense can put up the points. Their biggest question is their defense. Injuries to the defensive line (Sedric Ellis, Charles Grant, and Will Smith) have hurt the Saints and their secondary can’t cover anybody.
This game is crucial for the Saints. If they want any chance of a playoff spot they need to win the rest of their games out and finish 10-6. Falcons have won 6 of their last 8 and are on a roll. McAllister and Grant are suspended for the rest of the season quite possibly, a huge blow to the team. Although the Saints are home and Reggie Bush is back to take some pressure off Brees, I think they are no match for the Falcons. Atlanta is healthy and can play both good offense and defense. They beat the Saints at home, even surrendering over 500yds to them on offense. This one is going to be an aerial assault and the Falcons will prevail increasing their playoff chances.

Falcons 37, Saints 33

NEW YORK JETS (-4) vs. SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS

The Jets had a chance to build a 2 game lead against the Massholes in the AFC East (which they haven’t won since 2002) but blew it at home against an inconsistent Denver Broncos team. There’s no question that a two game lead with 4 games left in the season would have been huge for the Jets. Gang Green needs to respond in a big way as they head west.
49ers have won 2 of their last 3 (all under interim coach Mike Singletary) and are playing much better (benching Vernon Davis helps too). They still have problems moving the ball effectively on offense but the defense has come up huge these last few weeks. Last week against Buffalo they allowed only one FG in 4 redzone attempts and won the game 10-3.
Teams like the 49ers are dangerous for the playoff potential Jets, they have nothing to lose. Whatever their identity may be, the Jets need to find it and get it back. The strength of the 49ers is their running game. Frank Gore is having yet another good season. Their passing game on the other hand is having less success as quarterback protection has been an on-going battle for the offensive line. Jets can bring the pressure and they need too, not just to disrupt the passing game but to gain their confidence back after a poor showing last week. Jets have too much talent to fall into a slump, they know they can play better and they will.

Jets 35, 49ers 17

Devo's Picks (12-14)

Philly (+7) over GIANTS

6 reasons to take Philly in this game

1. It's supposed to snow and at the very least be cold and windy. That doesn't mean Philly wins, in fact it probably favors the Giants overall. But 7 points is a lot.

2. 7 points is a lot in general to give for an NFC East game, whether it's in December, September, or Madden.

3. Corey Webster is questionable. I don't really have any beef with Aaron Ross, but I'd rather have C-Web on Desean Jackson. Ross tends to give ridiculously huge cushions on receivers. Though in his defense, when Ross does this, he doesn't get beat deep, unlike the ghost of Will Allen.

4. The Eagles play to the same level of every team they face, whether it's the Cowboys, Giants (5 point loss in November), or Cincinnati (the 1 in the 6-5-1).

5. The Giants can overcome distractions, but the cloud surrounding them with the Harris Smith incident is too much. More specifically, the distractions to the Giant emotional leader, AP is going to leave him woefully underprepared this week.

6. I think I've been too afraid to take the Giants all year. The result? A lousy record for me, but an 11-1 run for Big Blue.

7 reasons to take the Giants in this game

1. Find a better team in the NFL.

2. Donovan McNabb has SUCKED for most of this year and has seemingly been unable to string together two good weeks in a row.

3. Westbrook has a few injuries and may not play because after all, he rarely PLAYS two weeks in a row.

4. When Westbrook doesn't play, McNabb sucks.

5. The Eagles were dead a few weeks ago. They delayed the inevitable with a win over the WAAYYY overrated Cardinals. It ends here, Philly.

6. Earth, Wind, & Fire. Next issue.

7. But for a few turnovers, the Giants completely dominated the last game vs Philly from a yardage perspective. Take away the turnovers this game, the Giants win by 14.

But most importantly, see reason #6 to pick the Eagles. Giants win, Eagles cover.

Giants: 13
Eagles: 9


ARIZONA (-14) over St. Louis

Have you ever seen a team as soft as the Cardinals? I mean, outside of the 4 current NFC South teams. This Arizona team will probably play either Atlanta or Dallas at home in the first round as the 3 seed. They may win that game, but they're going to get beaten next round by Carolina or Tampa. And if that's not true, Giants 48, Arizona 20.

And another thing that grinds my gears-can we please put to bed all of the Kurt Warner Hall of Fame talk? The man has had three great, mvp-like seasons. And yeah, said seasons were great, but every non-mvp season that Warner has had has been TERRIBLE! If Terrell Davis isn't going to get a whiff of the Hall of Fame, then there's no way that Warner should be allowed within 50 miles of Canton during the summer months. Lucky for Warner, the Rams are bad. Like Kurt Warner on the Giants bad. Like Kurt Warner at a Kwanzaa festival celebration bad.

Arizona 38
St. Louis 10

Oh, and one last thing-does Anquan Boldin still want to be traded? Granted there's nothing more valuable than a draft pick in the hands of Jerry Reese, but suddenly, I'm willing to give the Giants 2nd and 5th round picks for the wideout if he still wants out of Arizona.

Planned Parenthood Gift Card...This Year's Tickle-Me-Elmo?

Well, it looks like the new holiday gift craze is upon us, and Planned Parenthood is stepping in where Mattel slacked off by selling what everyone is sure to crave...PLANNED PARENTHOOD GIFT CARDS!!! Yup, you may not be able to get the gift that Junior wants, but you can certainly get rid of the potential little brother that Junior never wanted. Addition by subtraction that a 6-year-old is sure to comprehend.

And frankly, I'm glad that the older crowd finally has a gift that they can use. What the hell is a 19 year old boy or his 14 year old girlfriend supposed to with a Tickle-Me-Elmo? Sure, the gift certificate may cost $50 now, but think of how much it's going to save when you don't have to take Jane Q. Aborted to a Miley Cyrus Jr. Concert in 13 years? And yeah, $50 may be a lot now, but college tuition aint getting cheaper, even for the county college your mistake-by-the-lakehouse is sure to end up attending. Worried that you're going to deprive the world of the next great leader/scientist/Nobel blah blah blah? Have no fear...you think anything like that is coming from your demon seed? Please. You'll be lucky if your hard earned tax dollars go somewhere other than the welfare money required to feed Jane Q.'s crack habit.

Look, all I know is that I'm glad I finally found a universal one-size-fits-all hannukah gift for Yinzer, White Boy, MissMet, a Kwanzaa gift for SHMUCK and BH, and a sorry-your-country-is-under-attack gift for Mahatma. And frankly, I think it's screwed up that I'm the one who has to pay for all of this. I mean, let's be honest, sure SUS staff will be honored to have their own personal coat hanger they can display in their trophy case for all to see, but isn't society going to be the true beneficiary if a simple $50 gift card can help prevent the Mahatma/Nicole Richie or BH/Arianna Huffington reproduction that we all want to avoid?

Mahatma's Picks (17-10)

Cleveland Browns (+14) @ Tennessee Titans

(nice controller, loser)

I almost forgot about the vaunted Titans and that they continue to exist despite only having one loss this season. I guess that's what happens when you play the most awful team in the last 30 years and on Thanksgiving. Now there schedule can only get tougher as the DANGEROUS Cleveland Browns come to town. The Browns were last seen getting beat BARELY by the Colts and are slowly resembling the team from last year. Uhh or not. Not with Brady "I love my friend's cock" Quinn and Derek "I'm terrible but rich" Anderson both out, the stupendous Ken Dorsey returns from clipboard holding to show the world how Anderson and Quinn were both way better options. Tennessee feasted on the Lions and might be in for a closer game than expected. Browns defense has been playing well and the Titans don't have the vertical threats in the passing game to break their hearts. So it's up to Dorsey to not screw it up. He will but atleast it would be late! Regardless, this asshat will still throw his beer.

PICK:
Tennesee - 24
Cleveland - 14


Dallas Cowboys (+3) @ Pittsburgh Steelers

This might be the most watched game of the season and for obvious reasons. You got a storied rivalry that makes even the oldest of yinzers seem like its 1976 all over again. You got "America's" team (bs) vs. the team with the most fans in league and two damn good teams. Dare a say a superbowl preview? Possibly but that's almost 2 months away and things change. The Steelers have exorcised some demons last week against the vaunted Cheats and are wildly getting praise and accolades. Except that game was nearly as much of a blowout as indicated. Yes the Steelers are a good team but at any moment they can revert back to guys that layed an egg in the 4Q against the Giants and the entire Eagle game.

The Cowpokes have gotten on a bit of roll to coincide with the return of pinkie boy but barely beat the Redskins and beat up two of the league's worst teams in San Fran and Seattle. Now fresh of a 10 day layoff, I can already hear the words statement game from ESPN and the like minded idiots. In fact, this is the Cowboys season right here. Win this and they have momentum going into a huge rematch with the Giants and a likely playoff berth. Lose this and than your season is more or less over. Perhaps this is what this team needs though to get its act together.

The Cowboys must get out to a lead early. Last week, Randy Moss was open the entire game but couldn't catch a cold. TO unlike Moss actually can catch and doesn't care about getting jacked up. Jason Whitten though is the one that should scare me the most. He is Romo's security blanket (now more so without a healthy Barber) and will like get a lot of looks early. Steelers also have no one to cover him one on one. On the bright side, he is playing with 2 broken ribs and has yet to actually been hit hard over the middle. That will change this week. This might be the week we also see Roy Williams make an impact. Williams is a big time player when he is on but still has yet to grasp the Cowpoke offense. Crayton at #3 is a wuss and will disappear if the Steelers hit him and they will. Romo needs to have his offensive line step up and protect them this game. I think they do that so he can't do anything stupid. Except Romo does do about 3 stupid things a game so that works for me. If their line holds up, I like their chances with Romo evading the pass rush but that cold air and wind will effect those soft touch passes Romo makes.

Other side of the ball, Demarcus Ware is a beast and is coming back. He will make an impact. I have a sneaky suspision that all week we hear and will hear about the Steelers pass rush but the Cowshits have a pretty nasty one themselves and two shitty OTs to go up against. Also of note, Adam Jones returns to the line up. Objectively, the Steelers should do some good things on this defense but that would involve the OC removing his head from his ass, the O-line removing their heads from their asses and BRoth also doing the same. They have taken strides but they aren't quite there just yet. Could this be the week they do just that? Ben has been getting better and above average speed Willie Parker is back. The Boys secondary is still terrible and can get lit up if our shitty OTs man up.

My mind actually changed on this game while writing this. Hey Titans, we're coming for you motherfuckers.

PICK:
Pittsburgh Steelers - 27
Dallas Cowboys - 17

The Good, the bad, the Jets

One morning you’re Superbowl favorites and the next you’re just contenders. Jets were riding a 5 game winning streak and were looking almost unstoppable after the Tennessee win. But teams are figuring out Gang Green’s weaknesses and their inabilities (like to convert on 3rd or 4th and short). I think these wet dreams of a Jets/Giants Superbowl started to get in some peoples heads (possibly even the Jets themselves). Giants are without a doubt the best team in football, even without Burress (but Pierce on the other hand, now that’s a different story) so a Superbowl between the two would be a lobsided victory for the Gmen. Jets may have found their identity, now they just have to figure out how to maintain it on a week-to-week basis. But I don’t understand how after one loss this team loses all credibility as an elite contender in the AFC. You know, no team is perfect. In fact, the Massholes got manhandled by the Steelers and yet experts are not throwing the towel on them like they’re the Jets. Here are a few things Jets need to work on:

- COACHING – If it weren’t for some bad tackling by the Broncos on defense it almost looked like they had a copy of our offensive playbook. Every first down the Broncos stacked 8 in the box and stuffed the Jets running game. On 3rd and short they were ready for the short passes, cutting the slants and swinging linebackers out to cover the short dump offs. Schottenheimer’s play calling had been really good until today’s game and he didn’t make any of the necessary judgments in the 2nd half. Mangini and Sutton could not generate a pass rush. The Broncos double teamed Kris Jenkins and played 2 gap all game. Every play he was eaten up and was completely ineffective. The defenses big weakness has been the pass. Teams are throwing away from Revis and Rhodes and it clearly shows. Ty Law was great against the Patriots but the last 2 weeks he's been shaky. Abram Elam might not be the solution at Free safety. Corner and safety should be needs in next years draft.

- OFFENSE - All the money paid to that offensive line to help the running game and yet on 3rd, 4th and shorts the Jets still throw the ball. Run that ball up the middle behind your best players (Faneca, Mangold, Moore)!

I have a bone to pick with the NFL committee. If a man is on the ground and down covering the football the play needs to be whistled dead. Instead 3 seconds after Cotchery covers up the fumble 2 Bronco defenders jump on top of him and the ball pops out. Why did they have to throw all their body weight down on him like that? I find that unfair.

And another thing; everytime Favre was getting in some kind of rhythm it seemed like a different Bronco player went down with an injury. They did this 5 times in the 2nd half and all of those injured players came back on the field in the next few plays. THAT'S BULLSHIT! Mike Shanahan has always been praised as a good coach, but that is just F'in dirty on his part. Guys like him and Belichek take advantage of bad rules like these and it seriously pisses me off.

Either Favre's arm is still hurting him or Schottenheimer is taking away the deep ball. You traded for a QB with an arm and yet you still keep throwing the dink and dunk passes to the TE's and RB's? I think Pennington has more deep ball completions than Favre does this season.

Jets need to win with superior execution, not with these trickery plays all the time. Until they learn this simple maxim they will not get far in the playoffs and will be outsmarted by the dumbest and inexperienced of NFL coaches.

- DEFENSE - Eric Barton, you have been in the league for 10 years and yet you still act like in immature college punk. You're so lucky that it was 4th and long or those 5 yards really would of hurt the team on that drive. Start playing smarter. I can't wait until David Harris comes back and Barton can just sit back and only have to worry about not putting a late hit on the QB. Corners need to bump the receivers more on the line. They did a lot in the first half but the Jets d-line was not getting any QB pressure. Cutler was just simply picking them apart. Sutton and Mangini need to devise so more blitz packages, especially when your overall defensive scheme is just not working.

This clearly was a bad game but there is a brightside to this; that was probably the toughest opponent the Jets have left on their schedule. Doesn't mean they should take the next 4 games lightly. The loss by the Massholes keeps the Jets atop the AFC East but still only by 1 game. As long as they win won of their last 2 division games against Buffalo or Miami they will have the conference record advantage if a tie in first place were to ocurr. But this shouldn't be an option in their minds. They need to win out and win big. They need to prove that the team last week against the Titans was for real and that they can play some ball. As I see it right now the Jets can play against the physical teams. The 3 AFC teams that scare me are the Steelers, Colts and Titans. If they don't fix their problems with the play calling and their secondary, I can almost guarantee a first round exit.

Why I'm a Douchebag: Yinzer Edition

There is a simple fact in life: all hardcore sports fans are douchebags when they watch their teams. With that said, it's now time for the writers of your 10th most favorite website to tell about the little and not so little things that they do that qualify them as Sports Douchebags.

Click here to see why SHMUCK is a douchebag.
Click here to see why Mahatma is a douchebag. Click here to see why MissMet is a tool. Click here to see why White Boy South Bronx is a douchebag. Click here to see why Devo is a douchebag.

Superstition

I think this is everyone to be honest. I hate superstition; think it's a crock of shit. Yet when it comes to my teams, especially the Penguins, it's everything. It like it turns us into instant hypocrites or something. We know it's BS yet we cant help but believe it. Maybe we just don't want to be "that guy" whose lack of belief lost the big game.

I will cheer for players to get injured

But not just any players. It's not like I want some cornerback to get Joe Theisman-ed because he intercepted a pass, or a forward get cross checked because he scored a goal. No, the players like those in our "athletes I wouldn't piss on" articles. We're talking people like Tie Domi, Barry Bonds, Latrell Sprewell and Pacman Jones. You know, the real despicable players who are there to injure others, diminish the game they play or are just out and out complete uber douches. Or like Ray Lewis who murders people. Cant forget the criminals.

I actually cheered for MLB to fold during their last strike

Nope, not joking. I really dislike baseball that much (and yes, I know some of you dislike hockey that much, no need to go into it). Especially since a nice big payroll is the key. There are reasons why other sports have caps: to balance things. Baseball? Not so much. Seeing some washed up, out of shape fatass get five million dollars because it's considered market value is absurd to me. Watching baseball actually physically aggravates me I dislike it so much.

If you cheer for certain teams, I think you lack morals.

And by "certain teams" I mean pretty much whoever my team is playing. Or the Patriots and Flyers. We'll use the Pats cause everyone knows them. See, the fans not only support guys like Rodney Harrison who is out to hurt others, Bill Belichick who cheats to win, and Tom Brady who thinks that whole "women and children first" line is the punch line to a joke, but they justify it all. How you can cheer for, and vehemently defend guys who are pieces of crap and shit on the game is just beyond me. So I'm led to the conclusion that something is screwy with you. I don't get how you can side with a team that themselves lacks integrity. And you're cheering for my team to lose and that's not cool. Ass.

Apparently, given the choice of watching the pole dancer or football, football is the correct answer

Due to the Steelers laying an egg for three and a half quarters, me and my compatriots went to the strip bar to drown our sorrows in booze and boobs. The Steelers started to make a game of it towards the end, and my friends starting watching the game (which for some reason was on in the strip bar) with the futile hope that somehow Bill Cowher would somehow actually drive a comeback. Me? I knew better so I was staring at the juggling jugs in front of me for a mere George Washington. They cheered for the Steelers, I cheered for the girl on my lap. Call me crazy, a douchebag, or even straight, but I thought the girls were a lot more amusing.

Your Monthly Sean Avery Update

If this was last year, I'd call him an asshole, douche, goat fucker, what have you, but now since Sean isn't wearing that puke ridden Rag jersey I kindof like him.

What was the cause of this change of heart? This amazing gem:

"I'm really happy to be back in Calgary, I love Canada," started Avery before smirking.

"I just wanted to comment on how it's become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds. I don't know what that's about. But, enjoy the game tonight."

HA! Can you tell that Sean and ex, Elisha Cuthbert had a bad breakup? While Elisha saddled up next to current Calgary Flames D man, Dion Phaneuf, I gotta say that Avery just did some massive serving.

Gary Bettman didn't think so and promptly suspended him.

I'm sorry but Avery is good for the game. Look the problem with hockey is that you don't know any of these guys personality. Sure Crosby is a great player but what about him? This is one of the things the NHL is horrendous at. I know most of these guys are from Canada and Europe where they are all good ol boys and polite but screw that. Shouldn't they have some personality? Hockey needs more guys to say it like it is and to have some villains for once. You can call it wrestling but atleast that still gets some ratings...

For Avery to get suspended here is bullshit. This is the same league that lets head shots, elbows and knees and all the other gross misconducts go, but a verbal cheap shot? Oh no, that's crossing the line! WHAT WILL THE WEE CHILDREN THINK?! This would have made for good TV to have a battle out there, but as usual, the NHL is the murderer of it's own publicity. Don't you think people would tune in to see what would Dion Phaneuf do to take back the honor of his girl? I'm sure people wouldn't have tuned in to see Phaneuf beat the living shit out of Avery and see his patented turtling?



People can bitch and whine about Avery and him being classless but come on guys -- classlessness = ratings!

Lame. Here I was looking for a game to watch.

Plax v. Starbury : Who ya got?

VS



Lately the two ongoing sagas in New York sports media have been the inevitable buyout of Marbury's $19M bargain-of-a-contract and the Plaxico Burress failed attempted text message that left a not-so-artificial pimp walk. That said, Plax v. Starbury, who ya got?

(And yeah, I'd rather be Starbury too given that he gets paid $19m/yr to space out for his 3 hours of "work" 3-4 days a week, but every other angle on this story is taken.)

The crime
Plax: Almost killed himself feeling around for his cell phone.
Starbury: Almost killed his teams feeling around for an open shot. With the Wolves. With the Suns. With the Nets. And now with the Knicks.
Edge: Plax. Plax almost physically killed himself. Starbury ruined the nights of tens of thousands of fans 60 times per year. I'm pretty sure White Boy, a fan of both, will tell you that he feels worse about Starbury.

If Plax and Starbury are good guys, then the bad guys are...
Plax: That pesky gun shaped cell phone.
Starbury: Jason Kidd (twice) and Steve Nash, both of whom have shown how life can be without Starbury in their franchise's life.
Edge: Plax. One thing the U.S. court system has taught us-two white guys harming a black guy doesn't make the white guys "bad guys."

The fallout from their crimes
Plax: The Giants will go on to win the Super Bowl, Mayor Bloomberg becomes known as a tough-on-crime Mayor for being able to make toothless political speeches at key times.
Starbury: The Nets get good and make two Finals runs. The Suns get good and are a Robert Horry cheap shot away from winning it all two years ago. Hell, even the Minnesota Timberwolves went to the Conference Finals with nothing but KG after Starbury was traded.
Edge: Starbury. Starbury's Nets fallout got me to do the impossible...care about basketball!

Has won...
Plax: A Super Bowl.
Starbury: Um, some Nathan's hot dogs when he was 17?
Edge: Plax. But don't let that pick fool you-Nathan's Hot Dogs are REAL good.

The biggest surprise relating to the crime was:
Plax: Plax actually bothered to register his gun in Florida once upon a time.
Starbury: The Knicks actually made the playoffs his first year in New York, leading Knick fans to believe that they'd actually win a playoff game.
Edge: Plax. Shame on Knicks fans for expecting to win a playoff game. Needy sons of bitches.

And what do their teammates think of them?
Plax: True friends, like AP, will hide the murder weapon.
Starbury: Let's just say that if Starbury had any friends on the team, they would have been recording the intern-bang for all on the internet to enjoy.
Edge: Plax. Though I'm not sure if I want a Starbury celebrity sex tape.

Yeah, but have they banged an intern?
Starbury: You betcha!
Plax: Probably...why not? You think he went clubbing to hear the latest in NYC techno? This guy is as faithful to his wife as Bill Clinton. Not that this makes him different from any other athlete, simply pointing it out.
Edge: Starbury. As Plax is about to learn, actual proof wins out over inferences 9 times out of 10 in a court of law. Unless an inner-city jury is involved.

Winner: Plax. Wow, not even banging an intern, the ultimate sign of "cool" can save Starbury.

Hockey Round Up

So it's been a bit since we talked hockey here, and a few things have happened in the NHL since.



-So the Stanley Cup rematch between the Pens and Red Wings happened a few weeks back. And it was one hell of a game, so shame on you if you missed it as it displayed some of the best things hockey has to offer. Down three going into the third period the Pens kept battling back, and down a goal with a minute left pulled their goalie. When a goalie is pulled it's nerve racking for both teams. If its your goalie pulled, you're nervous as hell because its your last chance to win. If you're the other team you're nervous because you dont want to blow it. Your heart pounds the entire time and its a pretty sweet feeling. Well, with 22 seconds left the Pens tied it up, and then managed to win the game in overtime. Its a perfect display of why you shouldnt just lay down and die.



-So the worst kept secret in the NHL is out and Brian Burke is now thew GM of the Toronto Maple Leafs. With Anaheim to start the year, he rejected a contract extension and was let go to pursue other options, ie the opening GM position of the Leafs. This is about as surprising as seeing a team nicknamed the blueshirts come on to the ice wearing blue shirts. Burke speaks his mind, and is known for his war of words with Kevin Lowe a season ago. Burke is being heralded as the savior of the Leafs, but we'll see (my money is on no). You wont see anything immediately, but after december he is going to start putting his print on the team and probably start clearing out the roster and preparing to clear cap space to renovate the team in the summer.

-One thing I like is how the players celebrate a goal. It's nothing fancy; maybe a fist pump or a raise of the arms. But what I like is how genuine it is. There's no dancing or anything extravagant like football. Its just the players being happy like a kid who just got that Christmas gift he wanted.

-The All Star voting is out of hand. Hosted in Montreal because its the Canadiens 100th season, Montreal fans decided it was best to stuff the ballots by voting for everyone from the Canadiens on the ballot multiple times. So what do we end up with? Alex Tanguay having more votes than Crosby and Ovechkin. Combined. It's absurd. I know its an imperfect system, but when the fans are actually given a say you get idiots like this who go and ruin it all. Seriously, get a life people.

-NHL marketing is pretty much crap. But every once in a while they come up with something good, such as this new commercial for their online store:




-I've said it before, but it deserves mentioning again. When will people learn to STOP PISSING OFF SIDNEY CROSBY??!!! A few weeks ago Alex Semin said there was nothing special about Crosby, who hadnt been playing that well this year at that point. Not that well meaning a little over a point per game. So what has happened since? He's been shitting on pretty much everyone, the Devils his latest victim who he scored a hat trick against. Granted everyone knew Semin was just making himself look retarded by making the claim, but he basically sent Crosby on a drive to stat raping everyone he comes across. And what has Semin been doing since that time? Sitting in the press box nursing an injury, which I can only guess is a sore vagina.


-There have been a surprising amount of trades this early in the NHL season. Unfortunately most have been done by the Tampa Bay Lighting. The team is still toiling at the bottom of the standings even after canning coach Barry Melrose. Again, all this proves is that meddling owners never do any good.

AP, I’m with ya, Plax you need some psychotherapy

I figured as the co-resident Giants fan on this site, I should weigh in on the debacle that was Friday night at the Latin Quarters. I won’t even discuss the fact that a third player was there (Michael Kay says Ward and Francessa says its Bradshaw) because I am not certain which of the two it was and as far as I know that third person did nothing except go to said club. Although it is likely if not certain that both Antonio Pierce (hereto for AP) and Plax committed crimes, the actual "assholicness" and irresponsibility of each action is as different as the intelligence levels of Obama and Bush.

Plax, you need some psychotherapy. I loved you last year but that was before I knew that you would disgrace the same franchise you restored glory to just 9 months prior. Your 50 missed meetings, cursing off your coach who every other teammate seems to have no problem with, and your propensity to drop very catchable balls are all frustrating but worth putting up with. However your actions Friday night were quite another. I am not upset because you broke a law; I’m upset because you were not thinking of anyone but yourself by bringing this gun with you. You could have killed one of your teammates, friends or a random innocent clubber. I don’t want someone that irresponsible on my team, I don’t care if you are a good guy or not but I do care if you are so careless as to take many innocent lives into your own hands by drinking with a loaded gun in your pocket. Oh, and as you can see, your team can win big and have its QB play even better when you aren’t playing. I won’t go as far as to say I “hope” you go to jail but I would not be upset nor would I feel it would be an injustice if you did. However, if your boy AP has to serve any time for trying to save your ass, that is an entirely different matter……………

AP, I feel for ya man. I know that you were just trying to save your boy. You didn’t do anything with an intention to harm anyone nor were you reckless. Your moral code of never going against a brother outweighed your moral code of following the laws of the land, for this I have respect for you. I have to admit as seemingly replaceable as Plax is, you are equally irreplaceable. Your pre-snap reads of opposing offenses put your young talented teammates in great position to make big plays (see Kenny Phillips, Michael Johnson and Corey Webster.) You, unlike Plax have been a model teammate and Giant up until now. I do think you made a mistake in the way you went about trying to save your boy but I can’t say I wouldn’t think of saving my friend before I would think of following the law. I hope you don’t serve any jail time, I don’t think you should.

Axl Rose back in court...as plaintiff for a change

Axl Rose and his backup band legally called Guns n Roses is suing Dr. Pepper. Here's the blurb from Rolling Stone:

Guns n’ Roses are threatening Dr Pepper with legal action over what the band calls “a complete fiasco” of a publicity stunt. Dr Pepper promised every person in America a free can of soda if Guns n’ Roses released Chinese Democracy this year; on November 23rd, the day Democracy was released, fans were told they could get a coupon for a free can at its Website. According to Axl Rose’s lawyer, Alan S. Gutman, things went terribly wrong: Yesterday he sent a letter to Dr Pepper CEO Larry Young saying that the soda company’s Website crashed and that “the redemption scheme your company clumsily implemented for this offer was an unmitigated disaster which defrauded consumers and, in the eyes of vocal fans, ‘ruined’ the day of Chinese Democracy’s release”.
I only hope the following exchange happens:

Axl: Your honor, this is an injustice to our fans!
Judge: Um, didn't you take 14 years to put out a mediocre album?

SHMUCKS PICKS (9-13-2)

NEW YORK JETS (-8) vs. DENVER BRONCOS

The Jets have only played well at home in those ridiculous blue Titan uniforms. I still favor them to win this matchup with their strong running game against a very weak Denver defense. Both offenses can put a lot of points on the board but the weather conditions are windy, rainy, and sloppy. Denver really hasn't established a running game all season and they will be matching up against one of the best. Turnovers are key in this game. Whoever holds on to the ball will win this game.

Jets 23, Broncos 17

OAKLAND RAIDERS (-3) vs. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS

Quite the thrilling game this one looks to be. These two teams met back in week 2 and it was all Oakland and the run game. KC is still one of the worst defending the run so look for a McFadden/Fargas attack all game. Tyler Thigpen has played very well since his first start against the Jets 4 weeks ago. With Larry Johnson back that should help take some pressure off the rookie. Look for KC to get some redemption here as they go into the black hole and steal a win.

Chiefs 31, Raiders 24

The Brooklyn Hillbilly and his Week 13 picks

Pittsburgh at New England(-1, 39.5)
Time for Ben to exorcise some demons. Fuck the Patriots. Papa BH says Steelers win 17-10.

Carolina at Green Bay(+3, 41.5)
Carolina is weak. Packers must crush them. I dont think there will be a crushing involved, but Green Bay is better than their record indicates. Losses to Tennessee, Minny and New Orleans were by turns expected, close, and the result of some bad QB play. I think Carolina is ripe for an upset. Packers win 23-21

Black Friday Weekend Picks!

For the record, why do they call it Black Friday? If anything it should be White Friday with all the vanillas running up massive debts on their credit cards and smacking me over the head as they lunge for Gears of War 2 or Rock Band 2. Social commentary aside, let's get to some picks!

Chi Town @ Minnesota (-3.5)

Good ole fashioned SMASH mouth NORRIS football baby! I really fucking hate Chris Berman. Oh well. Dude, I don't understand how half of the Minnesota Vikes are still playing. Their entire DT tandem should be suspended now for Merriman'ing but Goondell continues to be selective with the ole rules. Oh right, i forgot, he's only in bed with Robert Kraft. My bad.

Anyway, the Vikes are poised to go on a roll not seen since DCULP was riding shotgun with his roll on. It's about time. The Vikes were the ones supposed to come out of the division with relative ease right? but they haven't yet. Here comes the Kyle Orton Experience to battle it out but alas, poor Kyle doesn't have the goods to keep this going. Sure it was a feel good hit of the Fall but this is winter now bitches and Adrian Peterson will run amuck like he did last year.

Will I watch some of this game? Probably but dude DEXTER is kicking ass in season 3 and will likely occupy most of my time.

Minnesota - 27
Chicago - 17


Jacksonville Jaguars @ Houston Texas (-3)

WHOA WHAT A GREAT MONDAY NIGHT GAME. JEEZ I might as well just TIVO this insta-classic and relive this monumental contest for the foreseeable future. For god's sake can we get some flex scheduling on this too? I'd rather see Giants vs. Skins or Jets/Broncos or Steelers/Pats but nooo. We get HOUSTON!

YIPPY! Jacksonville has more or less packed it in this season. They got crushed by Tennessee and than smacked upside the head by Minnesota at home. Houston meanwhile has crawled back from the dead and march toward respectability after some stunning wins over... Cleveland.

Oh jeez. Even Kordell Garrard can't screw this one up.

Jags - 27
Houston - 21

Devo's Picks (10-14)

Say hello to the only thing that Jeff Garcia will ever have over Elisha Manning.


And the theme of this week's picks is...TEAMS THE GIANTS WON'T HAVE ANY PROBLEMS WITH IN JANUARY. Onto the picks!

New Orleans (+4.5) over TAMPA
First predictions of their games vs. the Giants in January.

New Orleans vs. Giants January 11, 2009

Hey MVP candidate Drew Brees, have fun with your single season passing yards record on a 30 degree evening accompanied by the swirling Meadowlands winds. And Reggie Bush may get his, but he aint beating the Giants by himself. But what can withstand the Giant Stadium winter weather? EARTH WIND AND FIRE.
Giants 37 Sants 19

Tampa vs. Giants January 11, 2009
Please. When no one thought the Giants were any good, almost a year ago to the day of this game, the Giants completely took care of business against an average-at-best Tampa team. Now? The Giants are real good.
Giants 45
Tampa 7

But as for the game being played on Sunday...
I don't really care who wins this game. But because Tampa does everything slightly better than average and New Orleans has a phenomenal passing attack, let's give this game to the team who excels in a specific area.
New Orleans 31
Tampa 28


Atlanta (+4) over SAN DIEGO

To continue with our theme:
Atlanta vs. Giants, January 11, 2009
Matt Ryan, meet the Giants pass rush and a pumped up NY crowd jacked up for its first home playoff game in 8 years.

Giants 45
Atlanta 6

I'm not going to bother reviewing San Diego/Giants because that would assume that they make the playoffs. And while a San Diego loss this week doesn't officially knock them out of the playoffs, it should solidify their status as a team with an obscene amount of talent and an awful coach that has no business finishing worse than 10-6. And yet, 7-9 awaits. Matty Ice will get destroyed in New York in January, but accompanied by ex-Charger Michael Turner, Atlanta will take care of business.

Atlanta 27
San Diego 23

Devo needs a hug...

Giving Thanks? Eh, pass.

Look, some people want to take today to be thankful for all that they have and all that they're about to eat. Me? I'm glad that I don't have to share my Mom's stuffing with you assholes. That shit's REAL good, and nothing sucks worse than running out of leftovers Friday morning when you assholes decide you want to gank some for your bitch-ass-selves.

But I'm getting off topic. What I meant to say is that while there is plenty to be thankful for, there is still plenty that pisses us off. And I'm sure there are plenty of people in your life who if they were on fire, you wouldn't piss on them to put them out. We at SUS made our list a few months ago of these people. So remember, on this day of thanks, don't let the assholes in your life get a free pass:

MissMet wouldn't piss on Derek Jeter, Lleyton Hewitt, Scott Gomez, Pat Burrell, Chipper Jones

White Boy South Bronx might defecate on Curt Schilling, Tony Romo, Terrell Owens, Jose Reyes, and Michael Jordan if only to further the stench.

Devo would kick Jeremy Shockey, Scott Gomez, and Jason Giambi in the nuts and then point and laugh as they writhed in pain.

Brooklyn Hillbilly would take the mothers of Chad Johnson, Joe Buck, Steven A. Smith, Gary Sheffield, and Rudy Giuliani out for a nice seafood dinner and NEVER CALL THEM AGAIN!

Mahatma would spit in the slurpies of Rodney Harrison, Shawne Merriman, Kendall Simmons, Carson Palmer, and Jay Pandolfo.

Yinzer would attack David Oritz, Todd Bertuzzi, Tiger Woods, Jeremy Roenick, and Tom Brady with a hockey skate blade, Happy Gilmour style

And worst of all, SHMUCK wishes that Chad Pennington, Tie Domi, Ron Artest, A.J. Pierzynski, and Floyd Mayweather were stuck on a desert island with only Rich Kotite to gameplan a way off of said island.

Happy Thanksgiving and remember: there's plenty of assholes out there, stop pretending to be thankful for them.

Thanksgiving Morning Bullshitting..w/ Mahatma

So okay, Devo referred to this before but let the true star of the Pittsburgh Pirates get involved with this since it covers two of my favorite things, baseball and indian people.

Anyway, so yea in case you don't care about the Pirates (HELLO AMERICA), let give you some backstory.

I first received a call last weekend from GM, Neil Huntington but I deferred to my agent because a big time advertising exec like myself had a pitch to do all weekend. Suffice to say, my agent dropped the ball on this and for that i'm angry. My hinducurve has knocked out some of the best hitters in the game (Ramirez, Manny, Rodriguez, Alex, Boy, White) but I never expected those dominating performances to see the light out of day. Yet here I am, missing out on playing A ball while I need to put in some 80 hour weeks.

Being the first choice, the Buccos went on to their alternatives. Apu had to work a double so he was out of the running.

But alas two young green horns (shouldn't that be brown horns? yuck yuck yuck) who apparently won a REALITY TV SHOW in India. Yes only the Pirates would agree to allow these guys to actively participate in their minor league system. The Pirates PR spin was in full effect. Take a look at some of these gems:

"The Pirates are committed to creatively adding talent to our organization," general manager Neal Huntington said in a statement. "By adding these two young men, we are pleased to not only add two prospects to our system but also hope to open a pathway to an untapped market."

Yea Neil, GREAT idea. We all know of that India is the world's hot bed of baseball and it's really really popular. I mean sure some people there play a game called cricket but who cares. Baseball is India's past time. This is like saying uh we signed devo and SHMUCK because it opens a pathway to an untapped market like Summitt, NJ. The fact of the matter is that when other teams are in central america/cuba, the Pittsburgh Pirates are blazing new trails! What's next? How about Artica (not the bar you trendy douches)? That's an untapped resource right there! Perhaps we can sign the first ever eskimo to a contract as well! I mean sure we'd be adding more quality prospects OH YEA! Sure they are young and all but come on man. India? Really? Sure they have upside but this is America...we are all mediocrity personified.

Anyway, they have a blog that's kindof amusing in the same way I laugh at my cousins for speaking english and they laugh at me for speaking hindi.

Let me echo wishing everyone a Happy Thanksgiving. Food, football, sleep and shopping. It's going to be a good weekend...provided anyone can afford to buy anything with this economic crisis and all. Alas, don't worry SUS nation, credit cards were invented for this very reason.

Good fight and good night!

NEW YORK, NEW YORK

Can you feel it? Could it be? A Jets/Giants Superbowl!?!? Well arguably both the Jets and Giants are playing the best overall football right now, but I’m going to go ahead and say no. As great as the Jets have been playing there are still a few teams who pose a threat and can beat them; Steelers, Colts, Patriots, and Titans. I know, you’re like “but the Jets just manhandled Tennessee.” This is true and you should have seen the fangasm I had after they won. Titans are still a really good team. Minus those drop passes and penalties I think they can play a lot better football and be extremely competitive. If Jets want to stand a chance at advancing deeper into the playoffs they really need to secure that 1st round bye. Who knows, if the Titans really are a bust the Jets could quite possibly finish with the best record in the AFC and clinch Homefield!

And for the record Devo, this Jet fan has no beef with the Giants....currently. I even have an "18-1" t-shirt, which is probably the closest thing to a Giants jersey I'll ever own. I'll usually root for the Giants if the Jets season is pretty much done (which it has been many of times). I think the dream of beating the Giants in the Superbowl is every Jet fan's dream. I'm sure it works the same for Giant fans as well (stop me if I'm wrong).

Execution

The Jets clearly dominated this game from the start and never looked back. During this current 6 game winning streak they have successfully scored everytime on their initial possession. I've been a Jet fan probably since the early to mid 90's and I can't recall ever witnessing such a delicacy. Coming into the game both defenses were in the top 5 against the run. Jets stood up to the task and held the Titans to 45 yards on the ground. Tennessee's front 7 however were overpowered by a Jets offensive line that gets better and better each week, yielding 192 yds to Washington and Jones. Jets lead the Titans in some important key categories:

Time of Possession: 40:30 19:30

3rd Down Comp: 7 / 13, 4 / 11

First Downs: 28, 16

Favre was great at spreading the field and using the short passing lanes and finding his open targets. With that and the running game the Jets just wore the Titans defense down. Albert Haynesworth still showed why he's probably the best defensive player in the NFL but Mangold and company did a great job on containing him for a good portion of the game.

Kris Jenkins and company did a great job at getting their hands in Collins' face and applying pressure. This forced Kerry to rush some of his passes, throw behind some of his receivers and leave him uncomfortable in the pocket all game. It also didn't help that in the first half alone his receiving corp had 6 dropped passes. And the Jets are only going to get better. David Harris has been out the last 4 games with a leg injury and he's due to return when the Jets host Denver. This will move Bowens back to DE where he's a much better pass rusher than inside linebacker.

Moving On

Do I think it's a statement to the rest of the NFL that the Jets are a team to reckon with? I sure hope so. But the Oakland game is still a burdon in my memory. Jets have a favorable schedule for the rest of the season with 2 games against the Seahawks and 49ers who combined are 4-19. Something in my gut is telling me that one of these teams can hurt the Jets. All I'm saying is that I really hope their success doesn't go to their heads and they get too overly confident for the rest of the season. When it comes to the Jets, there's a lot for which to be thankful (Kris Jenkins, Leon Washington , Dustin Keller etc.). Happy Thanksgiving SUS and to all my 1 readers out there

MissMet is Thankful...

...and she also speaks in the third person. Happy Thanksgiving sports fans! As you are enjoying your turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, football and crazy family members, don't forget to
remember the things for which you are thankful. I've compiled a nice list of my own things, just for you.

1. CitiField. Or perhaps we should call it Taxpayer Field? Two New York City Council members say that Citigroup should show its thanks for a federal bailout by sharing the naming rights to the new Mets ballpark in Queens. Sorry about that everyone, but also, THANKS. I mean, this place looks absolutely fabulous and I can't wait to see games there.
2. Metsblog.com's Hot Stove report. Without Matt Cerrone and the boys, I would be baseball-less all winter long. How else would I know what the chances are that the Mets are going to sign K-Rod or Brian Fuentes? What about whether Aaron Heilman is going to be a starter (on another team) or not? THANKS boys.
3. The Jets. A guy named Favre (and a great team to back him up) has made my late fall/early winter a lot more exciting with the big games- Thursday night OT win v. the Pats IN New England, blowout of then-unbeaten Tennessee IN Tennessee- and the big buzz. THANKS Gang Green!
4. Johan Santana. THANKS for being awesome.
5. All of my family and friends who read this blog and support me in every other endeavor. THANKS loves.

Have a wonderful day and remember to give thanks where it is deserved.
~MissMet

Fredo Picks Thanksgiving Special!

Tennessee (-11) at Detroit
Devo: Detroit continues to take all of our tax dollars. Lucky for me, the unemployed don't pay taxes. Pick: Detroit

Mahatma: Clash of the Titans was a great movie. Lion King may get the hype but you can't go wrong with claymation: Pick: Tennessee
BH: T-T-T-T-ennesee. Great song by a great group. Pick: Tennessee

Seattle (+12.5) at Dallas
Devo: Has anyone read Boys Will Be Boys? This book may be the Catcher in the Rye of our generation. Pick: Dallas
Mahatma: Jessica Simpson is hot. Pick: Dallas
BH: Cowboys have guns and I think Seahawks are endangered. Pick: Dallas

Arizona (-3) at Philly
Devo: Philly has cheese steaks. Arizona has John McCain post-nomination barbecues. Pick: Philly
Mahatma: I like cheese steaks and all but nothing beats some ice tea. Pick: Arizona
BH: Where is it written that Thanksgiving games have to suck? Obama needs to do something about this. Pick: Arizona

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly: A Night At The Rock

I was going to do a review of the first 20 or so games of the Devils season, but really, it comes down to this: since Marty got hurt, our free agency class of Rolston and Holik got hurt, and while they have solidified their status as career backups, Clemmensen and Weekes have still been the two best players on the team since Marty's injury. So with that all said, let's talk about my first trip to The Rock this season with SHMUCK, and two of his peoples.

The Good:

• I forgot how nice the place is. Had a great time sitting somewhere in the 200's, also known as the worst seats in the arena. Simmons wrote an article recently basically saying that all true fans in modern stadiums have the worst seats in the house because that is all that they can afford. This was proven at the Rock, where most of the seats were empty except for the top few rows, where the seats cost $25 and under. And it's easy to sit here and make the basic jokes about the Devils having no fans, but the 200's were rocking. Definitely a good vibe.
• Props to SHMUCK, for bringing this chick along who we'll call Jacobs for reasons that I'll let him explain another time. She has never been to a hockey game before, so SHMUCK got to be that dude who explained the ins and outs of hockey to her. Pimp.

The Bad:

• So you know how Yankee Stadium has those cool if not expensive bars by 161 St behind the stadium? Well, I waited a few minutes for SHMUCK in this bar outside the Rock that was between the parking lot and my car. And I'm sure the place was trying hard, but something about a Spanish bar with 5 patrons playing salsa music doesn't exactly get one psyched for hockey the way you would think. Oh, and the place had taps for Heineken and Bud Light, but when I asked for a Heineken they said they only had bottles. Stay classy Newark!

The Ugly:

• Can you 'diehard' Devil fans please stop with the Rangers suck chants? It reminds me of when Sox fans used to (still do) chant Yankees Suck. The difference is this: until recently, when Sox fans did this, they had gone 80+ years without a championship. The Rangers ended their 54 year drought with a Cup...and then the Devils got 3. Come on Devil fans. Don't be dumb.
  

Why I'm A Sports Douchebag: Part 5 S.H.M.U.C.K edition

There is a simple fact in life: all hardcore sports fans are douchebags when they watch their teams. With that said, it's now time for the writers of your 10th most favorite website to tell about the little and not so little things that they do that qualify them as Sports Douchebags.

Click here to see why Mahatma is a douchebag.
Click here to see why MissMet is a tool.
Click here to see why White Boy South Bronx is a douchebag.
Click here to see why Devo is a douchebag.

I’M A JET FAN

- We’ve all heard it, or something along the lines of, “Jet fans are the worst in the league.” I can’t hide from the truth, I am a Jet fan and damn proud of it. We have been bitter and miserable for years now and our patience and demeanor have grown thin. Our only source of satisfaction the past few seasons have been the visual stimulations of boobies being flashed at us fat underachievers inside Gate D. And thanks to Roe v. Wade and other feminist bullshit, we no longer have that too look forward to now either. So please, cut us some slack!

- I, like the rest of Jet nation, cheered when Pennington got hurt in the 2007 season opener against New England. When he limped off the field and Kellen Clemens came jogging in, I believe I chest bumped my roommate. She wasn’t expecting it but I enjoyed it none the less. The game was already lost but I was eager to see what our future was going to look like.

Non-Jet Examples of My Douchebaginess

I grew up a Yankee fan. I know I know, being a Yankee fan in general should automatically necessitate that I’m a douchebag but as a kid, I didn’t know better. Steve Sax, Pat Kelly, Danny Tartabull, Don Mattingly, Mike Stanley, Jim Abbott, Paul O’Neill etc. were some of my favs. After the 1994 baseball strike I simply just lost interest in the sport all together, but I did develop a strong hatred towards the Yankees. Maybe it was because I hated Joe Torre and Derek Jeter. (Editor's note: Do you also hate newborns and little puppies?) Or maybe it was because my brother was a fan and all of a sudden everyone around me became fair-weather Yankee fans (f’in freeloaders). Everywhere I went I was surrounded by pinstripes and NY ballcaps. So why am I a douchebag? Well, I currently don’t have a favorite baseball team. I pretty much just root against the Yankees and all these other overspending teams that can’t win. So I sometimes get the “that’s not fair” comments because they can’t brag about their 26 championships to my teams far less championships. That’s fine by me. Eat me!

- I rode in the back of Devo’s convertible celebrating the Devils 2000 Stanley cup victory. No one in our hometown really cared, nor were they awake. The most logical thing we should have done was try to score some booze and drink in my backyard. Instead, I think we cruised around 7-11 like 10 times and once stopped for Slurpees….faaags.

- I take part in about 5 fantasy football leagues every season (since 2002). People call me crazy. My overall winning percentage is 70% with 17 total football trophies (12 of them in 1^st place). I’ve ignored a lady the next morning to steadily watch my stat tracker during the 1:00 games. (Editor's note: For not caring about baseball, you end up in 4 or 5 fantasy baseball leagues each year.)

- I hate losing in video games. I think I've retired after losing in NFL Blitz at least a dozen times. Don’t get me started with my Madden franchises. The TV in my parent’s basement has taken quite a lot of beatings over the years, including once when my Dad got angry at me and my brothers and threw the system out the window. Even with my superb drafting skills, free agency pickups, and completion of all training camp fundamentals I still cannot stop the Patriots from winning the AFC East. I don’t even think HBO would air some of the words and insults that come out of my mouth when I lose.

- If you want to know what SHMUCK really stands for, shoot me an email by sending it to straightupsports@gmail and I’ll tell you.

-SHMUCK

Devo incoherently rambles about the greatness of the Giants: Yup, it's a weekday.

I realize that most of our readers have become accustomed to Mahatma doing the Tuesday bullshitting, but since he has been signed by the Pirates (Pittsburgh, not Mogadishu...hiyo!!!) his priorities have clearly shifted to his new employer.

The Champs
Not to cross into White Boy's recap, but clearly we've seen what happens when teams try to load up the box on Earth Wind & Fire. Yeah, that Eli fella is pretty good too, as are his 6 receivers, tight end, 3 pass catching running backs, and even the fullback.

Make what you want of this, but the fact is that Eli's two best games of the season have been played without Plax. And as the season goes on and February draws near, the Giants will face better secondaries than Arizona, but I'm starting to come to this conclusion: If Earth, Wind, & Fire are healthy, if Boss is healthy, and if Smith, Hixon, and Toomer are all good to go, the Giants can win the Super Bowl without Plax. Does Plax make the Giants a much better team? Absolutely. But without Plax, Eli tends to step up his game, and this team is already so much better than most of the NFC

So I'd like to see Plax return this year and make his impression felt, but two facts remain:
1) Until any of Boss, Hixon, Smith, or Toomer get hurt, Plax is not needed for this team to repeat.
2) Jerry Reese should trade Plax after the season. He's becoming a distraction, and frankly, the team does not need him. Moreover, as the young guys from this team become free agents (See: Webster, Corey; Jacobs, Brandon "Earth") it's going to become difficult to keep all of these guys together. I'd rather keep Earth and future All-Pro Corey Webster than Plax, who has a future of being a malcontent.

That said, Jerry Reese has earned the ability to do anything he wants for the next year or two. He could trade Plax for a 7th round pick, and I'd be ok with it. That said, let's try and get a 1st or 2nd and 3rd or 4th for him.

And not for nothing, but I'll always appreciate what Plax did for this team, whether he's here for the rest of his contract or never suits up again for this team.

The Upstarts
I said it after the Patriots game, I'll say it again: THE JETS ARE THE BEST TEAM IN THE AFC. Jets/Steelers is going to be a fantastic AFC Championship game, so long as Ben stays healthy. (These teams could meet in the 2nd round, but for all intents and purposes, this will be the AFC Championship game, with the winner facing the Giants in Tampa.) Will the Titans finish the season 10-6? Probably not, but the Steelers and the Jets are superior teams.

The issue remains of who will get the 2 seed. The 2 seed plays either the 3 seed after they dealt with the Patriots or the winner of Denver and Indy in their home. Denver and Indy have fantastic offenses but are amazingly beatable, especially in front of a raucous Pitt or Jersey crowd.

Meanwhile, the 3 seed plays the Patriots at home in the first round, and then has to go to either Pittsburgh and whatever's left of their turf or an unreal Giants Stadium where Jets fans will make it impossible for Ben in the Jets' first home game in a long time.

Oh, and to quote Mahatma, the Steelers play the "Gays, Cowfucks, Titans, Rats and Browns." The Jets play Denver, San Francisco, Seattle, Buffalo and the Penningtons. Have fun with Cassell and Moss, Pittsburgh.

A thought about the Giants/Jets Superbowl:

I can only speak for myself when I say that I'm absolutely rooting my ass off for the Jets to get to the Super Bowl. Neither the Jets or Giants have had enough good seasons in my lifetime for there to be a legitimate rivalry between the teams. In fact, since I started following football in 1990, here's a list of playoff appearances by both teams:

Giants: 90, 93, 97, 00, 02, 05, 06, 07, Jets: 91, 98, 01, 02, 04, 06,

In the 18 full seasons that I have followed the Giants (as compared to White Boy's 5), the Jets and Giants have both made the playoffs only in '02 and '06, and neither team was very competitive in either of those seasons. In '02 the Giants lost to the 49ers and the Penningtons lost to the Raiders in the 2nd round. In '06 the Giants lost in the first round to the Eagles while the Jets lost to the Pats that same weekend. All of this is to say that this is the first year that both teams have been anything close to Super Bowl contenders in the same year, and there has been no reason to root against one team or the other. And seeing the Giants beat the 18-1 Pats? That's not exactly going to get Fireman Ed hating the Giants guts.
(Note: I think SHMUCK feels the same way, but I'd be interested in hearing what he has to say about Jet fans' opinions of the Giants.)

And speaking of SHMUCK...

You, SUS Nation, helped SHMUCK pick a new jersey to replace his current Jets jersey. Now, I, Devo, your blogging lord and savior, need a new jersey to replace my current Tiki Barber jersey. Please pick from the following on top of the following page:

Osi: Because if Strahan is a first ballot hall of famer, Osi will get in to Canton at some point down the road.

Tuck: Might be better than Osi.

Jacobs: Earth. But his career might be short due to his bruising style and the fact that Bradshaw is better in my opinion.

Bradshaw: This presumes a leap of faith that he will become a feature back, or at least a Warrick Dunn type back. A leap of faith, but a small leap.

Fred Robbins: Because his father and uncles are all bigger than him. Jersey could look obscure in a few years though.

Pierce: Quarterback of the defense, stats are merely OK though.

Kenny Phillips: All evidence points to him being an absolute stud of the Dawkins/Reed mold at safety. This is the jersey I want, but problem: already have a #21 jersey. Would be easier to just put duct tape over my Tiki jersey.

Eli: Safest bet of all of these guys to still be here in 2014, but for the same reason that I never wanted a Brodeur or Jeter jersey, I really don't want one of these. Everyone and their mother has 'em. ('Cept for mine, who had a Tino jersey, but that's another story.)

And last but not least....

Hey Knick fans, only 151 games until Lebron!

It was the best of times………, It was the best of times

Sorry to those of you Tale of Two Cities fanatics out there. There is no “Worst of times” for the 2008 calendar year Giants. This group is 14-1 and is by far the league’s best team. Every possible area it can be assessed in is a strength when compared to the average unit of its kind in the league. For example, even the secondary, which most experts consider the Giant’s weakest unit, is still better than at least half of the secondaries in the league. You know things are going good when Madison Hedgecock catches a pass! I wonder if Kurt Warner thanked G-d after the game for giving him the strength and courage to commit two turnovers and lose to his former team? To be clear, I have no problem with someone being a deeply religious person, but when someone asks you to assess your on field performance, this interviewer is not asking you about your religious beliefs, rather this person is asking you to discuss how your football skills helped you succeed during a given game. With this little Kurt Warner rant aside, I now will grade the Giant’s performance on a unit by unit basis.

Offense= A: This was as flawless and as dominant a performance by an offense as can possibly be had. New York put up 37 points and did so without the services of its two best offensive players. Eli played one of his finest games ever achieving an impressive 3 touchdowns and 0 interceptions while amassing 240 yards through the air. The running game, although not its usual 190 yard plus attack, was effective when it had to be on clock killing drives at the end of the game. Gilbride even joined the solid coaching party with a great call on third and 1 having Eli roll out off a play action fake and hitting Boss over the middle for a big gain.

Defense= B: This was not the most impressive defensive performance this season. Spagnuolo’s boys gave up over 300 yards through the air and 29 points overall. However, it did force “Jesus Statue” into turning the ball over twice including a beautiful pass to a wide open Tyrell Thomas. The defense did just enough to win.

Special Teams= B: The Special teams played a big role in this game. Dominick Hixon had two returns into field goal range and the Cardinals seemed to start half of its possessions inside the Giant’s 50. The difference, The Giants took advantage of these opportunities and the Cardinals did not.

Coaching= A: Coughlin and Gilbride both had phenomenal days. Coughlin showed his savvy by having Arizona re-kick just prior to Hixon’s kick return to the 13 of Arizona. Gilbride intelligently relied more on his passing game with Jacobs not in. Spagnuolo succeeded in his goal of limiting the Cardinals to a minimal YAC and in his ultimate goal of doing enough to win. The Giant’s bend but don’t break philosophy proved effective against the greatest show on grass.